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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive They still wouldn't date me, despite my wealth."

"You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest."

"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"

"Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books."

"Jokels: It's a simple joke website. http://jokels.com/"

"What would you call a terrible piece of gold? Absolutely Auful!"

"air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming."

"I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't know where I'll put my plate."

"What is the difference between a cop and a box of chocolates? Nothing. They'll both kill your dog."

"There once was a lady named Sue... ..who didn't have much to do. So she pulled out the vacuum, and went to the bathroom, and found a new way to go poo."