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Joke of the Day

"Roses Are Red... Roses are red, Voilets are violet, This misconseption Makes me violent"

"Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car."

"Why did the French chef commit suicide? Because he lost the huile d'olive."

"Holding a friend's phone for her. Just texted ""put a ring on it"" to five random male names. Stay tuned."

"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."

"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."

"What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards? It keeps coming, and coming, and coming..."

"Do you know how you piss off a bunch of people at once? http://www.redditstatic.com/reddit500.png"

"Reddit is like sex A well-placed thumb makes all the difference"

"Me: Saw your bf today ""Where?"" M: What's the name of that gym next door to the gay bar? ""Golds?"" M: Yeah, in the gay bar next to Golds"