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Joke of the Day

"I went to a gay bar specifically for dyslexic people... ...this really hot guy projectile vomited at me, so I ducked his sick."

"What do bears in Mexico eat? The same shit as all the other bears. What? Were you expecting a pun?"

"Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall... He turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise? She heard he was in a few good men."

"I went to a baseball game with my dad last night. It was pretty fun, we even got on the jumbotron! Then I noticed it was the Emotional Unavailability Cam."

"What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid? Brushing your teeth"

"If it's one thing I hate, it's an Indian-giver... No, I take that back."

"A cowboy opens a German car dealership His business card says ""Audi Partner"""

"Fat Chicks Are Like Scooters... They're Really Fun To Ride Until Your Friends Find Out"

"*on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*"