220234

Joke of the Day

"[first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] ""And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."""

"What do you call a blind gynecologist? A pain in the ass"

"Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes."

"If you mention ""leg day"" on a first date we will not be going on a second date"

"Q: What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school? A: Bison!"

"Remember: Before you were Mommy's little darling you were Daddy's little squirt."

"A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!"

"I'm getting the band back together.... We're called New Direction."

"What do Mexicans use with the Wii-U? Amiigo"

"Why did the opossum cross the road? To get to the middle."