220089

Joke of the Day

"Not all white people die in hot air balloon accidents, but only white people die in hot air balloon accidents."

"If there's no God, why are feet naturally shoe-shaped?"

"On a scale of 1-10 how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About 9 3/4"

"Osama Bin Laden should have hid in MySpace"

"My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, ""Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"""

"Deja Moo When you are sure you have heard this bullshit before."

"Him: ...and I asked you out because you're smart and pret-WHY ARE YOU POKING ME WITH A STICK? Me: To see if you're real or if I'm just high"

"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in."

"How many vegans does it take to... None. Nobody needs fucking vegans for anything."

"[Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?"