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Joke of the Day

"After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person."

"So I accidentally sent nudes to everyone in my address book. Worst part about it? Cost me a small fortune in postage stamps."

"Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny No one knows what it's like to not walk a mile in their shoes."

"Why should you not tell jokes to sand paper? It's a rough crowd ...Ba da bum chssh"

"me: [first gang practice] is snack time before or after the murders"

"If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I think you should be brave enough to ask that girl out."

"Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'"

"Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch."

"""I'm an introvert!"" -Extrovert, after being alone for a whole ten minutes."

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because their boobs are too big for b-shells!"