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Joke of the Day

"Aspirin Before climbing into bed, a man sets down a glass of water and an aspirin on his wife's bedside table. ""What's this for? I don't have a headache"" she says. ""Good. Let's fuck."""

Next Joke
 
"Why do I see so many broken condoms outside? Honey, those are called ""children"" and should be treated as such."
"Make your own bacon by tricking a pig into running headlong through a harp."
"How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell ""pick it up pick it up!"""
"Hub: You ready to go? Me: In a minute, I'm beating the kids. [Cut to me just decimating the kids at Mario Kart]"
"My son keeps talking to me in binary even though I ask him not to. What kind of boy is he? A noughty one."
"Me: ""Could you show me where the self-help books are?"" Librarian: ""No."""
"Trump and Hillary fall into the water. Who will be rescued? America."
"When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard"
"A black kid comes home from school.... ""Yo mom guess what I got the biggest dick in the third grade! Is it cus I'm black?"" ""No nigga its cus you nineteen!"""