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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot."

"*spills wine on Ouija board* OUIJA: *moving pointer by itself* H-E-Y S-S-E-X-Y D-Y-O-O-U-W-W-A-N-N-A M-A-K-E O-U-T ME: *moves pointer to NO*"

"I've been on my best behavior ever since the words ""you can be charged as an adult"" applied to me"

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""

"Why dont sharks ... Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit"

"List of food it's okay to eat with your hands: - corn on the cob - chicken wings - ribs - hamburgers - spaghetti at your in-laws"

"AMA request: Paul McCartney How big of an impact has Kanye been to your music career blowing up?"

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"TIFU by messing up someone's sandwich order Whoops, wrong sub!"

"What word starts with F and ends in uck? Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck."