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Joke of the Day

"Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing dear ? Jane: Yes and we're going again tomorrow. Mother: Really ? Why's that ? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind."

"I am giving up a few negative people for lent. So, if you call, text, Facebook or email and I don't get to back to you?? Odds are it was you."

"David Bowie died at 69, Alan Rickman died at 69... ... Donald Trump is 69. We are all crossing our fingers."

"What do you call an orange elephant? Call it whatever. It is not like it is gonna have a problem with that."

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 69."

"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."

"When people say ""You look so familiar"" responding with ""Were we in prison together?"" is almost always a conversation killer."

"What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Hungry."

"What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber? Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar."

"I held an orgy for my sexual dysfunction class last night. Nobody came."