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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a guy that's lost his car? Carlos"
Next Joke
"Nothing wakes you up faster than a 5 y/o kicking open your door like SWAT and jumping on you in bed."
"Just flipped my son off behind his back because I'm an adult and don't get into arguments with 4 year olds."
"Never trust a screw... ... They might turn on you!"
"Wife Wanted! A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". Next day he received hundred of letters. They all said the same thing: [""You can have mine.""](/spoiler)"
"Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing ""The Real Slim Shady"" over and over."
"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care."
"Doctors in Zurich, Switzerland, in a 14-hour operation, successfully separated the conjoined Facebook account of a husband and wife."
"How does a racist joke start? With a small loan of a million dollars"
"Stores in baltimore have been completely looted. all that's left is sunscreen and father's day cards. sauce: http://imgur.com/gallery/Tae9PI5"