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Joke of the Day

"Does jack Nicholson have it right? Absolutely! Lol so funny and true! http://imgur.com/Ty82Ugc http://imgur.com/69lQnye"

"My wife wants to lose some weight,so she is doing a lot of horse riding. and,what are the results? for one week horse lost 20 pounds."

"Jack and the beanstalk Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow? Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker"

"If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral."

"What do you call alcohol in a birdbath? Tequila Mockingbird!"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot"

"OMG I love you You're the best You left me Did you bring me stuff OMG Anything I don't care Where have you been I smell someone else -Dogs"

"I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point."

"Two fish in a tank. [x-post from r/Jokes] One asks: How do you drive this thing?"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? zero"