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Joke of the Day

"What do a thong and Donald Trump's toupee have in common? They both barely cover an asshole."

"What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant? It'll Dimsum."

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? Nah it's too cheesy!"

"Q: How do dogs order eggs at restaurants? A: Pooched."

"""I didn't see you in church last Sunday Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."" ""That's not true vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"""

"Life is like a box of chocolates. I only eat the brown ones."

"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."

"Did you know pigeons die after they have sex At least the one I fucked did Edit:Apparently this is not a new joke..Its new to me"

"The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop. The steaks were high."

"Women only call me ugly, until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."