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Joke of the Day

"Remember if you ever get mugged, don't yell ""Help."" Yell, ""Oh my god! It's Justin Bieber!"""

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because the B shells are too small and the D shells are too big!"

"A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink called ""Innuendo"". So the barkeeper gives it to her."

"Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid? He was told not to play with his food."

"I ordered a Pizza the other day, When she read the order back to me she said, ""So, you have one thick sausage, anything else? I looked her dead in the eye and replied, ""Yes, I also ordered a pizza."""

"If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it."

"What's the difference between love, pure love and excessive love? Blowing Swallowing Gargeling"

"The search for the mystery penis chopper goes on Detective jones has had a tip off, but will be back at work on Monday."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell bad."