73220

Joke of the Day

"If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it."

"Girl can I get your digits? Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist."

"6am: Too tired 8am: This isn't so bad 1pm: OMG so tired 5pm: zombie 8pm: Dead 10pm: LETS SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL & OVERTHINK FOR HOURS"

"I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going."

"Who is a penguin's favorite relative? His Aunt Arctica"

"You will never ever EVER get all the sand out of a suitcase you bring on vacation. EVER."

"I tried to give myself a sex change But I just couldn't pull it off. Credit to Rohan Ganju a young upcoming Australian comedian."

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"

"You've heard about the moron pilot who once made a tricky landing, haven't you?It was the shortest runway he'd ever seen. And the widest, too."

"Oral makes your whole day... But anal makes your hole weak!"