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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that you could cool yourself to absolute zero... and still be 0K?"

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"I bet sex with a stingray is like fucking a giant pancake."
"What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch? Matt"
"What do you call a paper car? A paper-machacedes"
"There was a vampire who drank his own blood He said it tasted irony."
"I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event... ...the words ""Just Do It"" would be everywhere."
"How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper"
"I gave my cat a bath the other day... he liked it, but the fur stuck to my tongue."
"How do you know you're wife is too fat? You're using Google maps to find her g spot..."
"No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox... He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years."