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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism."

"The first time God made the universe, he skipped leg day. All men were weeping creatures, who ended in bloody torsos and begged for death."

"Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a ""tuba glue."""

"The worst part about going to concerts is realizing people you'd otherwise think are freaks actually share your taste in music."

"There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"

"I have a good joke. Say ""Knock knock."""

"Scrabble is adding 5,000 new words including ""chillax"" and ""selfie."" So kids, there's never been a better time to challenge your grandparents to a game of Scrabble."

"I can't wait till Harriet Tubman is on the $20 bill That means I can legally own a black person again."

"My friend got a dog for his wife. I told him it was a fair trade."

"Another day done. Time to kick back and second-guess every social interaction I had at work."