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Joke of the Day

"Touch me, taste me, bite me, blow me, suck me, fcuk me, nice and slowly...but if you kiss me don't be hasty...use your tongue and make it tasty !! "

"I just got early access to the new Injustice: Mods among us."

"It's quaint when a company publishes a fax number on their website's contact page. It's like finding a Walkman at a flea market."

"What do kazoos and my father have in common? They were both around for a short time in the '90s only to be unheard of from then on."

"How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time."

"I applied for a job as a suicide bomber. I said I have no previous experience, they didn't seem to mind."

"My wife and I recently bought a Great Dane, the smell around our house is absolutely disgusting. Every time he barks I shit myself."

"How do you know an engineer is an extrovert? He stares at *your* shoes while he talks to you."

"As a cop, I don't know how to deal with black people... But I guess I'll take a shot at it."

"I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was She Said If She Told Me It Would Defeat The Purpose."