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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off..."

"What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own? A hue man."

"now when we see rotten food we think ""we should throw this out"" but in the past, they'd be like ""are there any shitty concerts coming up?"""

"What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises. The librarian said ""I don't think its in yet"". I said ""Yes that's the one""."

"Bad Luck Lincoln: Comes back from the dead, faces his fear by seeing a concert In Paris"

"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"

"Trump has a tower? Well Bernie has his towers too. The Twin Towers... They felt the Bern."

"so a dyslexic man........ walks into a bra"

"I made my wife change her name to Dick. Now people laugh whenever I joke about beating her all day long."