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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off..."

"Another Tom Swifty ""I have only diamonds, clubs, and spades,"" said Tom heartlessly."

"The worst part of a Halloween party with a bunch of techies is bobbing for apps."

"Knock knock knock knock knock. Who's there? Michael J Fox"

"Sorry I mispronounced your baby's name you made up."

"What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes? I'm walkin' here!"

"Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business."

"You're the Pepsi of people. Some people like you, but they're wrong."

"Did you hear about Taco Bell's new sauce? It's picked-out daily south of the border."

"What is a simile? It's like a metaphor."