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Joke of the Day

"I've only been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice. My uncle doesn't fuck around when playing Monopoly."

"Their wedding went off without a hitch... ...which was a problem in itself!"

"What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college? Bison"

"What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches? On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? You take the 'S' out of Safe, and the 'F' out of Way."

"Alright! Everyone that got a DM containing a map to my treehouse, meet there in 15 mins. Those who didn't, maybe consider being nicer to me."

"If you are hotter than me, wouldn't that make me cooler than you."

"A Irishman walks out of a Bar"

"How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database? Pop, Lock & Drop It"

"I'll have you know my grandfather was killed by a Nazi. He committed suicide"