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Joke of the Day

"I like that my phone tries to capitalize the word internet. Like the mindless dicking around we do on here is important."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? (None, they just beat the room for being black)"

"Crueless joke Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !"

"Today is world piles day Get yourself checked. If you don't have piles, celebrate for being a ""perfect asshole"" If you do have piles, still celebrate, for being a ""pain in the ass"""

"My only real accomplishment in life is knowing all the words to Coolio's ""gangsta's paradise""."

"Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five Clinton won three games to two."

"The best sex is like an old saloon. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear."

"Why do people put orange clothes on their kids at pumpkin patches? I almost picked a fat one up until it screamed."

"Why reddit is a murderer. Because it killed me battery"