218495

Joke of the Day

"""Give it to me!"" My girlfriend screamed. ""I'm so fucking wet right now!"" She could shout all she wanted. I wasn't handing over my umbrella."

"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."

"What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike? Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women 18 years old and all mixed up with coke"

"Do you know what one ocean said to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. sea what i did there? I'm shore you got it come on, dont be a beach"

"No one likes my puns about borrowing money, but I'm okay being a-loan. *drinks tears from tear jar*"

"Q. What is black and white and screams? A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs."

"Why should you wrap a gerbil in duct tape? (NSFW) So it doesn't burst when you fuck it."

"What did the clone troopers say after they killed Aayla Secura? Bye Felucia"

"What do you call a Mexican on a bike? a dirt bike"