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Joke of the Day

"My son doesn't like spicy food. To prevent him from eating his boogers, I pour drops of Tobasco in his nostrils while he sleeps. #winning"

"What drink does hitler hate the most? Juice"

"Red light : Stop Yellow light : Proceed w/ caution Green light : Wait till everyone hates you then go"

"What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A carpet."

"There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it."

"Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book."

"Are you Jewish? Because your body's smokin ;)"

"We can put a robot on Mars but we can't make a hand rail that goes the same speed as an escalator."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you."

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday"