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Joke of the Day

"Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep. I know but I want to eat as many as I can before I lose my appetite !"

"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"What do a teenage girl and her baby have in common? They're both thinking, ""Oh shit! My mom's gonna kill me."""

"There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris."

"Did you hear about the furry who got detained at the border? The guards thought he was a drug mule."

"What's it called if you re-evaluate your butt? In hiney-sight."

"In the winter time, where does the North Korean Soccer team practice? Inside or outside? Trick question. They don't have any heat so it doens't matter."

"I was at the pub the other day when the landlord walked up to me, handed me a phone and said, ""It's for you, sir"" ""Thanks mate,"" I said, took it and walked away. What a generous lad."

"What's black, white, and red all over? The bludgeoned face of a bi racial man in 2017 america."

"Why are you breaking up with me? ""You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird"" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands"