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Joke of the Day

"Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears."

"A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, ""I don't know, what do you want to eat?"""

"Does anyone else find it ironic when a celebrity with a face full of Botox talks about having the freedom of expression?"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn't wake him until 3."

"If you emphasize the po in police they're probably already after you."

"Ted has split personalities. This shows in his behaviour to his girlfriend. He's a dick Ted to her."

"Went to a skipping competition I didn't really want to, but I got roped in"

"I just got a great deal on a Flesh Light... Craigslist is the best!"

"What's balck on the bottom and white on the top? Society"

"What did the black mother name her 5 daughters? Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart? She called them by their last names!"