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Joke of the Day

"Hillary and Bernie are on a boat Hillary and Bernie Sanders are on a boat. It's sinking. Who survives? America survives"

"A sincere apology is like coffee. Don't talk to me beforehand."

"If you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb."

"A lollipop is like a normal lipop but it laughs a lot. Sorry."

"If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?"

"''I want to ruin some songs today.'' -The producers of Glee every morning."

"In Russia, Pokemon find you."

"2-year-old: Dad? Me: What? 2: Are chickens real? Me: 2: Me: No one knows."

"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"

"""Can I axe you something?"" is actually grammatically correct, if you're a polite lumberjack"