101276

Joke of the Day

"I'm not fat, i'm half-Bulemic. I eat everything i see, but i can't throw up."

"What's the main use for leather in the world? Holding cows together Edit: It doesn't work if you apply too much logic. Just enjoy the joke"

"Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so... I started doing it back to them...at funerals. "

"What did the pirate name his pet clam? Michelle"

"""Babe, is it in?"" *""Yea.""* **""Does it hurt?""** *""Uh huh.""* **""Let me put it in slowly.""** *""It still hurts.""* **""Okay, let's try another shoe size.""**"

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... I need the cheap labor."

"Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned."

"What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex? Umami."

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN"