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Joke of the Day

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, whereas this little piggy... ... went to a rape crisis centre after being introduced to David Cameron"

"As I suspected, someone's been removing soil from my garden. The plot thins."

"Black Betty An African lady named Betty came into a restaurant and asked the server, ""Is there any chicken on the menu?"" The server replied, ""No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."""

"I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle."

"Screw you, targeted Facebook ad for adult diapers! *thinks about not having to pause TV or games* *orders some*"

"What is black & blue and definitely not up for sex? The new girl in the women's refuge."

"I just saw a guy running a race and masturbating at the same time. I wonder what place he'll come in."

"When a dating site tells me ""Someone new likes you!"" I get angry because I'm there to meet adults, not babies."

"What do you call a building you can't locate? A warehouse"

"Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases? It runs in the Jeans."