217497

Joke of the Day

"TIFU by crying at a funeral -- about my favorite team losing. sorry wrong sob"

"When my SO is sad, she likes to code. So I give her some &nbsp"

"Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed."

"What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food? A connoisaur"

"I thought about opening up a cemetery... but it seems like it would be a large undertaking."

"Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,""Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."" Trump 20:16"

"There are three types of people in this world... those who can count and those who can't."

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."

"Natural Disasters are just Mother Nature's way of saying, ""How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess? Go to your room.."""

"Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly."