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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter? Mohammed Dali"

"Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE."

"She sells sea shells on the: A) Shore B) Shore C) Shore D) Shore"

"I'm not saying she's fat... ...but if I had to name the top five fattest people I know, she'd be three of them."

"1.Open Facebook 2.Search for a pic with 4 girls 3.Coment: ""You 3 look so pretty!"" 4.Enjoy"

"I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks"

"What's the object of Jewish football? Get the quarter back."

"Me: Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms? Kids: WE DO! YAY!"

"A guy wakes up in hospital after surgery and complains he can't feel his legs ""I know"" said the doctor. ""We had to amputate your arms"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brewster ! Brewster who ? Brewsters can wake you up in the morning singing cock-a-doodle doo !"