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Joke of the Day

"She sells sea shells on the: A) Shore B) Shore C) Shore D) Shore"

"SOPA inspired joke: What has two eyes, two hands, two feet, and two noses Two Pirates"

"When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways"

"Seriously ppl who eat pizza with a fork & knife? This is America. We shove it in our faces like the rest of the fat people. Get it together."

"I was at a restaurant and didn't have any money left after paying for my meal. So I tipped the waitress my fedora."

"Damn, girl, did you lose weight? Because it's caught up to you."

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again..."

"Presently poking others but your poke is important to me. Please stay online and your pokes will be returned in the order they were received. Approximate wait time is five minutes."

"Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes."

"A guy walks into a pet store wanting to buy a talking bird. He sees a parrot and says to the bird, ""Hey, can you speak, stupid?"" The bird replies, ""Yes, can you fly, Dummy?"""