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Joke of the Day

"What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus? Kanye's not him."

"Just shoveled my sidewalk My neighbors dogs didn't seem too appreciative with all their barking and yapping. Or maybe they fucking loved it and I just don't speak dog very well."

"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !"

"For an ""adult"" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books"

"I'm not afraid that the world is going to end.... I'm afraid that it isn't going to change...."

"The city I live in had its annual incest competition. So I entered my sister."

"I asked a Jewish girl her number She said she didn't have one, but could give me her grandfather's."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"Two old woman were sitting on a park bench A naked man with a fully erect penis walked past. One of the ladies had a heart attack, the other had a stroke."

"The difference between a turtle and a politician... ... You feel bad after running over a turtle."