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Joke of the Day

"When two Lesbians get married. Who pays the shopping bill ?"

"Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people."

"Defense attorneys are just like porn stars. Their only job is to get you off."

"Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this."

"A strange woman was pounding at my door at 4am and woke me up. I had to let her out."

"Did you hear about the schizophrenic accounts manager? He couldn't help but hear invoices inside his head."

"When is the only time you can park like a retard? In a handicapped spot."

".@Schwarzenegger I just wanted to let you know that every single article I've ever read about you spells ""Australia"" wrong. G'day mate!"

"what kind of biscuit can fly? a PLANE biscuit"

"Cool prank: Gradually remove a little bit of your mom's arm bones each night in her sleep until her arms are just totally floppy"