216919

Joke of the Day

"What do you call 11 people on national television debatting religion? the republican presidential candidates."

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a hoedown. Not my joke, just passing it on."

"I'm the man putting sexy... .... back into dyslexic."

"Me: ""I'm thinking about running a marathon again"" Her: ""Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"" Me: ""No, but I have thought about it."""

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"What do you call a pirate's girlfriend? Pirate bae"

"Went to Lowes for a new dishwasher pretty stoked that she has a job too."

"People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints.."

"How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb? One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him."

"My love for you is like a candle. If you forget about me, I will burn your fucking house down"