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Joke of the Day

"Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is."

"Everyone else gauges how productive their week is by how little time they had for Twitter too, right?"

"Yo momma's so fat... ...she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose!"

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field"

"[Gameshow] Host: ""You are one question away from our grand prize. How do you feel?"" Me: ""With my hands."" Host: ""Correct!"" *crowd goes nuts*"

"Australian Cricket Team"

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, "" SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"" but a train says, "" CHOO CHOO"""

"Today it's National Take Off Your Cap Day Hats off to whoever founded it."