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Joke of the Day

"Rules of Hawaii Going to Hawaii and wearing a plastic garland as opposed one made with real flowers is the best way to tell everyone else you're a cheap lei"

"me: how much per hour? babysitter: $15 me: okay here's $2.37 million see you in 18 years"

"An F1 racer gets addicted to amphetamines. He soon felt the *need* for *speed*"

"Someone told me testimony is unreliable I don't believe them."

"Donald trump and a slinky have a lot in common... They are both useless piles of garbage but they'll put a smile on your face if you shove them down the stairs."

"[campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]"

"Make A Dumb Person Curious Do you know how to make a dumb person curious?"" - ""No, how?"" - ""I'll tell you tomorrow."""

"A pirate decided he wanted to retire He sold all his gold on eBay."

"What was the name of the time traveler with good timing? Justin Time."

"Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks? Because he thought it wood look better!"