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Joke of the Day

"Incest results in some very strange humans. That's why my sister and I ALWAYS use a condom."

"What do you call the occasionally toxic, organic substances that accumulate over the years in a hoarder's house? Horticulture."

"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."

"Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced."

"I used to hate tumors But then they grew on me"

"You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody."

"I was more nervous than a whore in church to tell you this But your about as useless as tits on a nun"

"Really whenever I get up is ""too early."""

"A latin joke Titus: Markus, legistis pleiades? Markus: pleiades quest Titus: pleiades testes in ore tuo."

"I remember 2016 As if it were a normal year."