216634

Joke of the Day

"A Leaf and an Emo Person Both Fall From a Tree. What lands first? The leaf, a rope stopped the emo."

"Did you hear about the sheep who committed suicide before they could sheer him? He died in the wool."

"The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"That awkward moment when your girlfriend is looking up for a noodles recipe on your computer and opens a file called ""Asian."""

"What is the penalty for telling a bad joke? The joke is it's own pun-ishment."

"The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls."

"I turned my phone on ""Airplane Mode"" and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever."

"The most embarrassing thing for a kangaroo is accidently hopping into another kangaroo's pouch who then hops into a 3rd kangaroo's pouch"

"The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead."

"""This is way too delicious. Let's ruin it."" -People who put pineapple on pizza."