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Joke of the Day

"""You're cute when you're mad."" ""Yeah well I'm about to get real fucking adorable."""

"How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They'll both bite at anything!"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered six offender"

"""I see,"" said the blind man... as he pissed into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"Just found out bears don't hug to be friendly, but because they want to eat you :("

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"my date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds"

"""I can't wait for the erection!"" - frustrated wives/Asians who love politics."

"What does a black man do after sex? Wipes away the pepper spray and 25 to life."

"What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics? Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell"