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Joke of the Day

"Guys, I figured out a better way to pretend you died mid-type! All you need to do is hold dooooooooooooooooooooooo"

"How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin? See if she can run faster than her brothers."

"People who say they are ""comfortable in their own skin,"" scare me because I wonder how they know what it's like to wear someone else's skin"

"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."

"What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror? Hallooooo me!"

"Watching Jon Stewart Feb. 4th Turd-accino, Jon really? It was right there in front of you!!!"

"BAD LAWYER Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator."

"Why are giraffe's heads so far away from their bodies? Long necks."

"Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker...."

"Why did the dog go into the church? The doors were open."