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Joke of the Day

"It's crazy how everyone sleeps differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."

"Don't masturbate with Crisco. It's shortening."

"How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!"

"A black guy a Mexican and a Jew walk in to a bar The bartender says ""what is this a fucking joke?"""

"[public restroom] Me: We'll have to go some place else, it says ""unavailable"" Mom: Even the toilet found someone before you"

"Gonna start a gym called ""Resolutions"". For the first two weeks of January it's a gym. The rest of the year it becomes a bar."

"What's worse than watching Star Wars?"

"having sex for pleasure Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin. I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out."

"What were the polite Egyptians running away from? DaRUDE Sandstorm"

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards !!!"