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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? TWO....but it's really hard to get them in there"

"I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, ""No, one drag is enough."""

"What's with these people on facebook who never particpate on your page at all, yet act all weird when you decline attending their stupid event?"

"Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves"

"*checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*"

"Blondes and their belly buttons Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons? Blonde boys aren't all that bright either."

"As a white, male acoustic-guitar owner, it appears I'm legally obligated to post a video of myself playing on YouTube."

"What do you call a electric Volkswagen? A **Volts**wagon"

"The poorest man can be rich if he gets a bunch of money."

"My wife always says I am bullying on of our children I don't know which one she means... John, Maria or the fat ugly one?"