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Joke of the Day

"Why is the Star Trek enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle your anus searching for cling-ons"

"I once met an Asian with excellent grammar... So I said, ""Wow, your grammar is so good!"" And they replied, ""No.....my grandma's dead."""

"Caterpillars: Neither cats NOR pillars."

"""why do they have such a nice house?"" -- my review of every movie"

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Remember that time Hitler had a juice cleanse?"

"A lady went to the hospital after her husband beat her black and blue... After examining her under the bright lights, the doctor sent the white and gold lady home."

"Mom writes to her son in Poland's army: ""Dear Son, I am writing this letter ever so slowly..... ....because I know you cannot read fast"""

"Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run? (Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos) Me: I have shin splints"