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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about going to the male pornstar tryouts... ... but I heard there's some stiff competition."

"What is a difference between those who left USSR for Canada in 1972 and those who left USSR in and after 1991. In 1972, people ran from Socialism, and in 1991 into Socialism."

"Please, if I ever offend you, it's because I meant to."

"update: the light went out in my fridge so i had to eat everything so it wouldn't get scared"

"Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier."

"Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years."

"Let me drink about it and get back to you."

"Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider."

"Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!"

"Zayn leaving one direction is just like putting a fork into a sausage.. It leaves four little pricks."