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Joke of the Day

"Please, if I ever offend you, it's because I meant to."

"Some guy was reported to have gone crazy in a public bathroom. I guess you could say he lost his shit."

"How bad is it to poop your pants? It Depends"

"Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list. She said she didn't give a flying fuck."

"Why did Trump bring his dog to the rally ? Because he likes it *ruffed up* !"

"I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team."

"I said to the shoe salesman - I'd like to return these shoes... They've got holes in them! Shoe Salesman - Hmmmm yes, that certainly seems to be the Crocs of the matter."

"I was recently at an antiques store. I picked up a lamp and a genie popped out. He said ""I will grant you one wish, you can either have a long memory or a long penis"" I forget my response."

"HEY LOOK AT MY COCK!!! Isn't it a pretty rooster?"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was a salted."