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Joke of the Day

"Why do so many Italian men wear mustaches? So they can look like their mothers."

"Dog with no legs Where do you find a dog with no legs? Answer. Where ever you put him."

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"I have to start remembering my passwords, I have renamed the dog so many times he just looks at me with disgust now."

"You can't take a picture in slutty clothing & glasses & make the caption ""NERD LOL"" You're not a nerd, you're a whore who found glasses."

"Why did the squirrel swim on its back? so it wont get its nuts wet"

"I went to buy a bag of air... They accidentally put potato chips in it."

"TUMBLR What shoes does a tumblr girl wear? *Ughs*"

"With great power come great.. power bills. *- Uncle Ben, electrician.*"

"All the toilets at the police station were stolen! The police have nothing to go on."