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Joke of the Day

"I tried to get my Liberal Girlfriend to play Chess But she got really mad when I told her that Whites went before Blacks and the Queen has to die for the King."

"What book is better when you read it drunk? Tequila Mockingbird."

"Two men walk in to a bar... Which is really stupid because the second one should've seen it coming."

"""It is scary how much false attribution of quotes occurs on Twitter."" - Mark Twain"

"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines."

"DOCTOR: ""I'm calling to notify you of your outstanding balance."" ME: ""Thanks! I do yoga."" DOCTOR:........"

"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"Something only a guitarist can say I broke a g-string fingering A minor."

"I wish I could commute by roller coaster."

"What's the difference? NSFW What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? Regular sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your whole week Edit: fucking autocorrector"