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Joke of the Day
"If the Swiss Army knife is so good.... How come the Swiss army never fights?"
Next Joke
"Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!"
"I'm a take me or leave me kind of girl. Wait, where ya going?"
"When the lights start to go out on a Fuddruckers sign it starts to be a game of cussing roulette."
"What's Emperor Palpatine's favorite kind of cheese? ""Gouda, gouda..."""
"[in Starbucks] ""It's Ian with one i"". ""We only need your first name Mr Wivwanaye""."
"Why do Asian parents never have a white baby? Cause two Wongs don't make a white"
"Lifehack: put on sunscreen before work, you trick your senses into believing you're in for a day of fun instead of soul-crushing mediocrity."
"Words can't describe how beautiful someone is... But numbers can. 4/10"
"How does John Lennon get his kids to eat their vegetables? He tells them to ""Give Peas a Chance"""