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Joke of the Day

"This morning I mixed redbull with coffee to help me wake up. I got about halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist."

"Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK"

"I had a dream I went to Hell and Satan forced me to sing karaoke with him. That's right, the Devil made me duet."

"Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not? Because the dime had more cents."

"Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Him? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"If experience has taught me anything, I've forgotten what it was."

"My Christmas tree is on a timer It lights up everyday at 4:20"