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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago."

"What's the hardest part about roller skating?... Telling your dad you're gay."

"Joke What's the difference between a dick and an ass? I don't know, but your mom seems to enjoy the combination of both."

"How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months."

"How do you put a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender first How do you get it out? Tortilla chips"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? She didn't know either"

"So... There was a kidnapping at my school... But don't worry-- he woke up."

"When the cleaning lady say's ""Have a good night"", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our ""You too"" response in harmony."

"My number one rule to live by is: Don't die."

"I'm 0C and what is this? Get it? Lol"