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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago."

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"What do you call a lesbian who also doesn't eat meat? A vagetarian."

"I wonder what Ethiopian hipsters post on Instagram... But it sure isn't their food..."

"I've been reading a book called 1,000 sexual positions'. I've reached position 176 and apparently from now on I'm going to need a woman."

"What do you get when you put a knife in a babys ass? A hard on"

"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."

"GF told me she wanted to write her ""biography"" & I said ""autobiography"" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place."

"my mum didn't know I could make a car out of spaghetti. That was until I drove pasta"

"The local pizzeria promised us the best delivery service But they didn't deliver."