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Joke of the Day

"Ernie hears from the kitchen ""Hey Erine, want some ice cream?"" ""Sherbert!"""

"You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead."

"I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check"

"If you're going to bother Google with a search, it is polite to type ""excuse me"" first."

"After hearing a lot of Oscar Pistorius jokes I find them disgusting. Frankly I won't stand for them and neither will he."

"I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill."

"How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed? By the ""M"" on his pajamas."

"are oranges named orange because they're orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange shit idk"

"It's not the cat wearing my pants without permission that pisses me off. It's that he looks better in them than I do."

"Funny how many articles end in ""continued on page"""